Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Add-On

Office work environments have cycles. There is a routine that is just bound to happen. You sit down at your desk and you are there for 8 hours a day. It goes without saying that everyone has a different routine. Some people have OCD like routines: I sit down, open my email, open my fantasy baseball team page, get coffee.  Some people have quirky routines: A colleague of mine will get confused and stumble when he answers the phone from 11am until 2pm. He will start to say, "Good Mor- (look at the time and continue) -Afternoon." Some have unhealthy routines: A guy I know will go down for a cigarette every 90 minutes.

The point is: we all have our own personal character traits. It makes us who we are. We are perfectly imperfect human beings.  Take Annoying Coworker-please! She does something I like to call: The Add-on.

The Add-On is an Annoying Coworker staple. Like God Bless America being sung at Yankee Stadium during the 7th inning stretch. I'll give you an example:

Me: Hey Tony, you think Yankee Stadium beer prices are high? I just read that Dodger Stadium sells Corona for 13 bucks!

Tony: Really? That beer sucks.

Annoying Coworker: (Staring at my brown eyes) Why do you think that is? Do you think it has to do with the union?

(silence)

Me: (trying not to roll my eyes since I know she is staring at me) I...I don't know.

(silence)

And...Scene!

You see what happened there? I was addressing my coworker.  I said his name. Tony. Point of reference: Annoying Coworkers name is not Tony. We were having a conversation and she just butted in there at the end like a big jerk.  Another point of reference: There is a coworker in between Tony and I who was dead fucking silent during this whole exchange.  If this happened only a few times or even a half dozen times a week it would be okay. I'm not a monster, people!

The problem is she does this everyday. She will only add-on to a conversation that is a reach for her. She never does the Add-On to a work related conversation.  It's not like we are all talking about work related shit and Annoying Coworker brings up a good point about something. it's always a weird comment that makes the room grind to a hault. The Add-On is the office equivalent to crashing a birthday party when you are 15 years old: Everyone is quiet and no one knows what to say.

Sound off below!

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