The Add-On

Office work environments have cycles. There is a routine that is just bound to happen. You sit down at your desk and you are there for 8 hours a day. It goes without saying that everyone has a different routine. Some people have OCD like routines: I sit down, open my email, open my fantasy baseball team page, get coffee.  Some people have quirky routines: A colleague of mine will get confused and stumble when he answers the phone from 11am until 2pm. He will start to say, "Good Mor- (look at the time and continue) -Afternoon." Some have unhealthy routines: A guy I know will go down for a cigarette every 90 minutes.

The point is: we all have our own personal character traits. It makes us who we are. We are perfectly imperfect human beings.  Take Annoying Coworker-please! She does something I like to call: The Add-on.

Timeline: Good God Friday

The following is a timeline of questions and thoughts Annoying Coworker has asked me today. All event happen in real time (also: This is all fake and made up) My thoughts and quotes are in italics

9:00am: What are people doing this weekend? Do shut up

9:04am: Want to hear this french name? Take a wild fucking guess! No! No I do not want to hear a french name! 

9:05am: Do you have any pets?

9:13am: For some reason this program is not launching. Can you help me?

9:14am: What's the number one question people ask you? People ask me all the time if I am worried you will find out about this blog. Since you are fiction and made up in my head: No. I am not worried.  

9:16am: Transformers 2: "Really Great" - Annoying Coworker

Timeline: March 31, 2010

8:30am - Work is relaxing and a little bit of music is playing.

9:30am - First cup of coffee and some jokes around the office

12:00pm - Lunch is eaten and some sports talk is on the radio

1:30pm - Annoying Coworker arrives. Silence begins and Annoying Lights are turned on

3:00pm - Annoying Coworker is asked to do something about a late notice she has been dragging her feet on

4:30pm - Coworker and I discuss baseball and Annoying Coworker interrupts with lame and sexless story about knowing someone who worked for a disgraced politician and then landing on their feet.

4:40pm - Annoying Coworker gathers her belongings and leaves the office. Ignoring multiple goodbyes from coworkers.

You Need Us

I just caught Annoying Coworker staring at me in my peripheral vision. I notice this happen occasionally. She moves her head and I can just make it out that she is looking at me from beneath her Annoying glasses. I can usually just press on and stare at my computer as if nothing is actually happening. 

Not today friends.

I glanced over like a dummy and locked eyes with her. The curious thing is that she did not immediately start talking. She held the moment for a few seconds before beginning her sentence. She proceeded to tell me that there is a help organization that is called "You Need Us" I told her what a smart name that is and then went back to my computer hoping this would satisfy and eliminate the conversation.  It was not. I'd tell you what she said but I honestly don't remember as rage engulfed my body and all I could see was red.